mooninthewater | Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[Hokay. There's really no great way to say "yeah I love you because I'm a horrible fucking person so it's fine", is there? No, there's not, as much as Ebalon wishes it were that easy. "I'm garbage" is not something he'd say despite the fact everyone thinks it. Really, he's weirdly comforted by the thought that Mizuki is a little fucked up as well — not like he couldn't tell, as human psychology usually has upper limits of what's considered fucked up. It's like how humans say "murder is wrong" until they themselves feel the need to murder, then they justify it in however many backwards ways they need to until people listen.

Mizuki is the type who strikes him as "murder is wrong" until he gets to the stage of "murdering evil people is okay", which has less backwards justification than Ebalon has seen some people pull off in the past. That's typical human psychology; what's atypical is the fact that he ate some of those evil people. Most people (most people) don't resort to eating others for revenge or otherwise, but hearing that Mizuki isn't exactly some guy has that little tidbit making more sense.

No, no, it's all rather interesting at the end of the day, and Ebalon always prefers the people he keeps at his side to be fascinating specimens first and foremost. He cannot wait until they can burn entire worlds down together, truly. What a lovely time that'll be, the perfect team... sigh.]

You can't control the circumstances of your existence. [Horrible. The worst person you know just made a great point.] If I were upset with you for being part Seaborn, I would be both a fool and a hypocrite.

[Yes, Ebalon, now get some hypocrite self-awareness for other things, please.]

Of course I still love you. Did you think my love would stop there? I assure you, it doesn't.

[ It's not as if Mizuki is some epitome of moral standards. His thinking certainly has a lot of mental gymnastics as well, after all. He genuinely does believe that everyone has the capacity to be good. Even those he has deemed "evil". The only reason he wants to cull out the evil people to begin with is because he doesn't think chances will save the amount of people they will have the chance to harm. Yes, a murderer has the capability to be a good person. But what about the good people they have killed? Why risk letting them hurt those people? And it's absolutely hypocritical to have a way of thinking when he's confessed to the very man he's wrapped around now, but Mizuki had mentioned he was "adaptable" earlier, yes? Then, maybe having such a way of thinking in a place where death is not the end-all is fine? He doesn't hold it against Ebalon for the same reason he doesn't hold anything against Max. It's because they have room to be better, to do good, and at the end of the day, no lives were truly lost.

Again, there's so many hoops he's jumping through for these conclusions and thought process. This is precisely why he doesn't make these decisions. He shouldn't think about it, because it doesn't make a ton of sense to him. All he knows is that he doesn't want any evil in the world. And right now, that means he has to better himself, first.

For the first time, Ebalon will witness Mizuki revealing all his stingers. It's hard to say how many there are for certain, as just looking at them induces a headache, and they just seem to blend with one another, sans the four distinctive white ones that twist and coil around because they're just too long to be freely waving about. This is him, after all. All of him. And if he's revealing that much to Ebalon, then…

He picks himself up a bit, his hands still desperately clinging onto his clothes, and such a tight hold on Ebalon, but it contrasts how gently he puts his forehead against Ebalon. How soft his expression is. How quiet and meek he sounds. ]

You have to mean that. Always, okay? [ … ] And I'll love you always, too.

Edited 2022-06-13 09:32 (UTC)

I won't stop loving you for anything, especially not something like that.

[Ebalon's interest is established, thanks. He'll continue to sink his fangs in and hold tight with sharp claws, stubbornly refusing to let go until his heart beats its last. Even then, there are plenty of ways to come back from death, and Ebalon is not the type of man who gives up so easily.

He holds Mizuki tight, not as tight as Mizuki clings to him, but certainly enough to return the general vibes of don't leave. It's a totally healthy obsession from both of them.]

I'm not exactly human, myself. I'm sure you may have figured that out from my display at the island battle. [...] Care to take a guess? [Ebalon this is a serious discussion what do you mean guess.]

[ Ebalon really needs to stop assuming Mizuki knows what humans can do. There are a grand total of 0 humans on Terra. Except for those Rainbow Six guys that one time, but, uh, Mizuki never met them! A stinger pokes against Ebalon's cheek, like somehow that's going to answer his question. ]

I... I don't know. [ He's really only got the races from his world to go on, and it's not like Ebalon's got any of the features that any of them have, so… ] Are you... Sankta, maybe?

Aha, perhaps that was a loaded question. The correct answer is "demon".

[Watson already knows since he asked, and Ebalon knows others are looking at him with that whole "that man ain't human" judgement, and that's perfectly fine. It's not like it's uncommon on Elrios either. Most people would have lost it if they found out the Fire Master was half-demon, for starters.

Innocent reasons to lie aside, it's easier for Ebalon to fly under the radar of somebody else, and a human like Harque served his purposes. That's the part he won't say aloud, but Mizuki may as well know that he's hiding being eldritch, right? Right.]

People can know I'm a demon — I think my abnormal reactions to being stabbed and shot give that much away about me — but could you keep this next part a secret, just like with my first name? [He smiles sweetly. Too sweetly. Red flag, red flag—] I'm currently disguised as a human. Elrians are rather racist, you see — if the general public knew that the Moon Master, or the Fire Master for that matter, are demons? I cannot imagine the people would have felt safe, for racial bias alone.

[Rosso's done nothing wrong but Ebalon has done so much.]

I should have said something to you sooner, but I'm not used to people here being open-minded. [Sure, dude.]

[ Fortunately, demons are something that exist on Terra. Unsurprisingly, they receive a lot of flak for being themselves. Racism for demons is, apparently, a constant between worlds, even in worlds were "demon" doesn't mean the same thing. But, it doesn't mean too much to Mizuki, unfortunately. Saying "there's an elder god in my brain" is way more of a ball to drop than "I'm this other race". Not that he's against Ebalon revealing this information at all, of course.

He nods a little at "keep this next part a secret". He's good at secrets. And he's quite glad for this topic change, actually. He doesn't want to talk about Seaborns anymore. Or ever again, if he can. ]

One of my doctors back home is a demon, too. She's... too old to care that people don't like her for what she is... ehe. [ She's the type to point at a trash can and say "You can file your complaints in there," actually. ] I don't mind, though. Venti's doing the same thing, after all. Disguising himself as a human, I mean. [ (Remember that "good at secrets" thing? Yeah, I was lying. He's awful at secrets.) ]

[It's a pretty big ball to drop to Ebalon, alright! He's work so many appearances over the years that he feels weird saying all of this out loud. Elder Gods are fine, that's normal, Henir is literally the void.

Anyway, she sounds like a lovely woman! And Ebalon luckily already knows Venti isn't human because of Jinx, so he has no reaction to that other than nodding.]

It makes me wonder how many other people are disguising themselves for convenience's sake. I don't have camouflage abilities like you do, so walking around in my normal form would frighten people. Ah, but demons come in many shades where I come from — some are horrifying and eldritch, some are large and doglike, some are literally bull-headed, some simply have ears and a tail, some have horns, and some look entirely human. We're rather varied as people.

[ Well, if the pattern of "Anyone older than 500 comes around they've probably bodysnatched someone else" keeps happening then-

Mizuki just nods a little to Ebalon's descriptions. It's a little weird to hear, actually. Especially since there are actual furries around in Terra. "Large and doglike" is just a very furry Perro, for example. He wants to ask more questions about it, for the sake of maybe trying to prod into what Ebalon might look like out of these, but he supposes he should, first, establish that he'd totally be okay with whatever he'd throw at Mizuki? ]

Most Sarkaz just come in the horned variety, though in that doctor I mentioned, she's a vampire. Y'know. Pale skin, pointy ears, red eyes... [ Drinks blood. All that fun stuff. Not that that part is really upsetting to the Literal Cannibal, it's just not worth mentioning. Mostly since Warfarin's entire purpose in life is to make artificial blood for her kin. ] But there are the more ancient ancestors still around, too. Wendigos and such, for example.

[ … ]

Would you show me what your real form looks like someday? I understand if you don't want to now or... or even for a while, but... You know, I'd like you to feel like you can be yourself, truly, around me. [ Deja vu with this conversation, honestly. Why are both of his boyfriends hiding who they really are? This can't become a pattern. ]

As far as I'm aware, vampirism isn't a phenomenon on Elrios. We do have blood magic, though it's not common. Most magics are aspected to a certain element, and blood magic, as far as I know, is not.

["Most" but also this canon breaks its own lore all the time so who cares.]

I'll show you some time in the near future, I promise. [~~Wolfie has to draw this because Wolfie can't words, you see.~~] It'll be for your eyes only.

[ Mizuki relaxes about tenfold when he hears that, and very, very slowly settles his head against Ebalon. Ever so subtly, he might be able to feel the little sea jelly shiver and shake. While he does feel a lot better, it's very apparent that he was afraid of how Ebalon might react to hearing something like that, especially since he had to be so spontaneous in telling him, instead of giving himself any time to prepare. It's hitting him like a bus now, even though it's all said and done with and Ebalon's even fine with it. It doesn't mean Mizuki's anxiety is quelled in the slightest.

But he is limp and just… seems tired, mostly. Whatever those other two boxes contain might have to wait for tomorrow. Mizuki can't handle this emotional rollercoaster anymore today. ]

[Oh, his poor, frightened jellyfish. Ebalon leans to kiss his temple, and then thinks he might drag Mizuki to lay down except there's still this black eldritch horror blood... Gunk... Stuff on the sheets, so, hm. Wouldn't it have been useful if he studied practical magic like cleaning stuff up with a wave of his hand instead of this apocalypse shit? Haha.]

Do you need to rest, my love? [Beat.] We should move to the compass to do so, unless you'll give me a moment to change the sheets.

[Can't sleep on the futon since his roommate usually sleeps there, after all.]

[ Under any other circumstance, Mizuki wouldn't make a decision here. It is, in fact, his kneejerk reaction to say "whatever you want to do". He doesn't make a choice, he doesn't decide what to do. Yet, here, the thought of Ebalon leaving alone when he feels like the wrong touch will make him shatter like glass is setting all sorts of alarms off. No, no, no, he's not allowed to go, not right now. Maybe in a little while, but he just wants to hold him like this for just a bit longer. He needs to stay. Mizuki conveys as much as his fingers hook into the fabric that hangs at Ebalon's back, and he's enveloped, as usual, by a few of the tendrils. ]

...The compass sounds good.

[Good call. The sheets are for the ghosts to deal with. It's not Ebalon's fault they're bound to indentured servitude until they dissipate or whatever. This totally won't happen to everyone on board the ship currently some day haha.

Anyway, compass? Compass. In they go! Ebalon scoops Mizuki like a koala and carries him to the bed, and then flops over with both of them. Very elegant.]

Is that better? ...you seem exhausted, among other things. Is everything alright?

[ He is exhausted. Evident by the way that he is loosely hanging off Ebalon, and limp in his arms. Physically, he's fine, but emotionally, he… ]

I've never questioned whether or not I was a good person before. I never considered myself a hero, of course, but I always thought I was good. That I had good intentions, and that I... just... was good. I don't like questioning that suddenly. I can't decide what I am, so how am I supposed to know? I'm a monster, after all, so...

[ … ]

... I'll be okay. I'm fine. Just a little shaken, that's all.

I think you're good.

[Better than Ebalon will be, anyway.]

Good people are concerned with being good. It's a trait that they share — you wouldn't be concerned about being a good person if you weren't. [Which is precisely why Ebalon is unconcerned, but that doesn't matter right now. Does it?] Good people care about the wellbeing of others and try their best to be exemplary — so many people on this ship are fond of you for your kindness and understanding you show. Is that not the picture of goodness?

[ Mizuki shakes a bit, both so comforted by Ebalon's words, and yet all the anxiety in his head pushing it away. Everyone is fond of you because you're just polite. They'll know better, eventually. But he tries to accept this… and mostly just nuzzles his face into Ebalon, holding him tightly and probably feeling just a little more gooey than he should. But this is what Ebalon gets for dating a jellyfish! If he ends up melting into a goop puddle into Ebalon's lap than he's allowed to do that! ]

…I love you so much, Dantalion. [ He's too anxious to think of much else to say, but, above all else, he needs Ebalon to know how important he is to Mizuki. How much it means to him to be accepted like this. How deeply wedged in Mizuki's heart he is. ]

I love you, too.

[Ebalon's hand tangles with Mizuki's hair to brush the strands out. To comfort him, to let him know he's loved because it's at moments like these where words completely fail him. As it turns out, he's not as smooth-talking as he hopes he is. He's actually kind of stupid at this?]

I'll be here to listen to you and assuage your fears, should you ever feel insecure about this or anything else. It's the least I could do for someone so very important to me.

Mmmh… I'm alright with you just being here. Did you… have other plans today? I think I'd like it if I could just… hold you for a while.

[ And maybe fall asleep. Naps are a good way of making the anxiety stop for a little bit. ]

B-but if you're busy, can I stay in here? [ Solitude also works. ]

I don't have plans, no. Other than making sure you feel comfortable, that is.

[What are plans? Ebalon apparently doesn't have them anymore. Every waking hour is consumed by thoughts of Mizuki, after all.]

[ Ebalon, I'm begging you to realize that's a problem.

Mizuki nods anyway, hands pulling at his back to, hopefully, convince him to lie down. Then he can just curl up on this sweet moon mage and let the rest of the world go away for a little while. ]

[He will not, it's very nice of you to be concerned though.

Ebalon lies down after taking a moment to register exactly what Mizuki is asking him to do here. Lay down? Lay down. Alright, he's laying down.]

Get some rest, my love. You seem exhausted.

[ “My love”… how that still gets him, even now, after hearing it so many times. It’s a good thing Ebalon’s here, and that he’s able to so easily quell the storm in Mizuki’s head.

He curls up against Ebalon as he lies down. He doesn’t fall asleep immediately. He spends a lot of the time just listening to his lover’s heartbeat, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. It’s these things that eventually lull Mizuki to sleep. ]

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WORN* so many appearances, this is what I get for phone tags !!!

UR GOOD my tags are all just one big typo tbh

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