mooninthewater | Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[ Mizuki lets the silence sit for a while, staring at Venti in some attempt to find the words to pick this conversation back up. He doesn't want Venti to be upset or lonely. He literally bawled about it just moments ago, actually. He doesn't know how else to pour his heart out for Venti to show him that he genuinely loves him. And maybe it's damning that the two of them have this sort of dynamic? One, who loves and wants to show it until the other is practically suffocated with it, and the other, who craves it so dearly yet flees at the first sight of actually receiving it so passionately. Yet all the same, Mizuki tries, and he takes one of Venti's hands gingerly after moments of nothing to settle it over his heart. ]

How about here, then?

[ honestly the problem is mizuki bringing up the l-word because he would be so much happier with stupid flirting or flings or anything casual. 'love' he would believe in whole-heartedly for others but wouldn't associate to himself in two thousand years. there was only one truest love for him. loving mizuki is the certainty that mizuki would be happier and better without his bullshit--he'd known this, but the growing certainty is undeniable. his fingertips twitch over mizuki's heart; for some odd reason there's a sting to his eyes as he lowers his head. ] Ah...

I could, I suppose. [ then, a sudden realization that mizuki would probably have to take off his shirt. he imagines other bruises, then-- ] Or, actually, let's just sleep. Sor~ry, I've... well maybe I'm a little tired after all, this much is fine for now. [ the confusing thoughts he had towards being bitten or biting; maybe mizuki is right, he should give up on the idea of it with the natural unease he'd had. giving up is more his natural inclination anyway. ]

Venti… I know I'm not smart, but even I can tell you're lying.

[ Even after they just had a conversation that he'd try to be more open and communicative, too… He tries to put together if it's lying because he's uncomfortable or lying because he's changed his mind and doesn't want to hurt Mizuki's feelings. He genuinely doesn't know, but isn't that the whole point of, you know, communication? He gestures to his wrist now. ]

We could do here again, if you'd prefer. Or… [ Beat. ] if you've just changed your mind, is there something more I could do for you, instead?

[ no, he refuses to be open and communicative. ...... all right, he did say he'd try. but maybe he can try, starting tomorrow. yeah. and after like, twelve bottles of vodka. then he can try! that sounds like a perfect idea to him. ]

I'm not lying about--that, I don't think I want to try to do it. Right now, anyway. [ he tries to smile, more naturally as he does up his own shirt fully and then flops back down to bed. ] And you might be right, if I'm... it's not just for your sake but I wonder, it just really doesn't come naturally for me to... [ ...... ] Maybe I'm a bit too tired to explain. [ see, that's proof of being tired. tired to the bone. tired to want to sleep for a century and that'll solve this problem he bets. ]

[ Mizuki nods a bit, though a few concerned tentacles have made their way back to Venti. There's unspoken "don't go"s, as though Mizuki just thinks that Venti is going to leave whenever there's a mild inconvenience between them now. It's not as though he could stop him, but earning that faith that he wouldn't do so back is going to take some time. He is, at least, appreciative that Venti hasn't left him thus far. For a while, actually? While Venti might be turning to drink still and maybe spending some time apart from him in general, he's been getting better about leaving.

…

How much longer with Mizuki until that changes again? Can he trust it won't? How can he make that call…? He doesn't want Venti to be uncomfortable. He doesn't want Venti to feel trapped. He doesn't want to make Venti feel alone when he's right here. ]

Okay. Are… are you… [ Don't ask, he'll leave. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. ] Do you still want to stay with me tonight? If you want to go, that's okay.

[ the question is a little surprising... he had just plopped back in bed right now after all. he did maybe give the door a bit of a longing look but no, he really isn't going to ghost at inconveniences anymore. there's the fantasy that he'd really really like a bottle of wine right now, that'd improve things so much, alcohol would never let him down or desert him, or however that song goes.

the look he gives mizuki is a little puzzled, but then he musters a little smile. he gently pulls him down alongside him. ]

I'm here.

... Let's sleep. [ he actually tries to wrap the tentacles around him a bit more, with a light shiver. practically like self-exposure therapy in a way, forcibly trying to accustom himself to this, and then draws the sheets up over them both as he curls in towards mizuki. ]

[ Look, Venti can be lying down all he likes, but that doesn't mean he wants to stay. It's why Mizuki is asking to begin with, because he's finally trying to make Venti more comfortable and care about him the best he can, instead of clinging to him and just expecting things to be okay. He's easily pulled down, though, and despite literally just thinking that he needs to loosen that hold on Venti, he still finds his arms and tendrils coiling around Venti the moment he's beside him.

"I'm here," he says, and Mizuki shudders, like those words alone meant the world to him. He hides his face into Venti and nods. If he should say something, he doesn't, because he's so certain if he opens his mouth, he's going to start spouting worrying shit again.

…

He at least makes the effort to not touch his shoulder, though Venti will wake up in the morning mostly enveloped by his tentacles. ]

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