A compilation of Incorrect Quotes feat. Sail cast

[mooninthewater]

Mizuki: [emerges from the TB in a god awful outfit]
Ebalon: Ugh I can't believe I'm going to make out with him
La Pluma: You don't have to
Ebalon: No I'm gonna

☆☆☆

Friday: [visiting] Hello, I just came to-
Friday: [sees Venti shoving Mizuki into the washing machine while Clarke records and Ebalon observes]
Friday: [retreating] Something suddenly came up.

☆☆☆

The Captain: If you had to choose between Venti's life and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you?
Ebalon: How much are we talking?
Venti: Ebalon
The Captain: Two pennies and some lint.
Ebalon: Sold.
Venti: EBALON

☆☆☆

Ebalon: I've caught this stupid disease because of Mizuki.
La Pluma: For the last time, feelings are not an illness.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Are you crying?
Mizuki, sobbing: This book is so sad
Ebalon:
Ebalon: Mizuki, this is a cook book
Mizuki, sobbing harder: I know, the recipes fucking suck

☆☆☆

Mizuki, breaking down the door: SIX MONTHS!
La Pluma: What is he talking about?
Ebalon: I'm sure it's nothing-
Mizuki: FOR SIX MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT AND SAID NOTHING!

☆☆☆

Clarke: Can you stop arguing with your boyfriend? We're being shot at.
Mizuki: He's not my boyfriend!
Ebalon: You tell her, babe.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Wow, this food is amazing. Mizuki, did you cook this?
Venti: How do you know that I didn't cook it?
Ebalon: Venti, 58 people are on this cruise and you'd still be my 100th guess.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: god, you’re so clingy
Ebalon: you came into my bed??

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Hey Ebalon, you're a doctor, right?
Ebalon: No, but whatever you're about to ask next, I probably qualify.
Mizuki: If Osmosis Jones was real do you think I could take him in a fight?
Ebalon:

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Has anyone ever told you you're really annoying?
Mizuki: N-no?
Ebalon: Good, I'm not in the mood to murder anyone today.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Why is there a dead person in here?
Mizuki: There was probably a live person in here, and then something happened to make them dead.
Ebalon: Great analysis, Mizuki.

☆☆☆

Friday, in one of the stores: Would a Ms. Clarke please come to the front desk?
Clarke: Hello, is there a problem?
Friday, pointing at Mizuki and Natsuno: I believe they belong to you?
Mizuki: We got lost. :[
Clarke: I didn't even bring you guys here with me?

☆☆☆

Mizuki: What are you writing?
Ebalon/Clarke: The Captain wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the cabin. I’m letting him know it’s private information.
Mizuki, peering over Ebalon/Clarke's shoulder: This just says “fuck around and find out” in calligraphy.
Ebalon/Clarke: Mhm.

☆☆☆

Mizuki, very drunk: I don’t know how much you know about the moon, but for me, I’m a fucking master. Ask me anything about the moon.
Ebalon, amused: Is it big?
Mizuki: Probably!!!!

☆☆☆

Mizuki: I REFUSE TO YIELD TO CYNICISM!
Mizuki: There is goodness in the world!! And if I can’t find it, I will make it! With only my own teeth and spite!
Mizuki: I will make a world worth living in and get my friends in on it too!!
Clarke: who are you yelling at
Mizuki: MYSELF!!

☆☆☆

Ebalon: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Mizuki: We could attack them with hummus.
Ebalon: I stand corrected.
Mizuki: Just keeping things in perspective.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: I have edge.
Ebalon/Clarke: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

☆☆☆

Pilot: Before we leave, please make sure all small items are secure.
Ebalon, whispering to Mizuki: Do you feel safe?

☆☆☆

Clarke: Everyone know what they're doing?
Mizuki: In general or the plan?
Clarke: The plan, Mizuki.
Mizuki: [sigh of relief]

☆☆☆

Ebalon: don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve
Mizuki: uh, I think you mean cards
Ebalon, pulling knives out of his sleeve: no I do not

☆☆☆

Mizuki: we need 2500 dollars
Clarke: why do you need 2500 dollars?
Mizuki: escape room
Clarke: ....what kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars?
Venti: jail
Clarke:

☆☆☆

Venti: [Gets down on one knee]
Ebalon: [gasps] Oh my god, it’s finally happening.
Venti: [Falls over]
Ebalon: The poison is kicking in!

☆☆☆

Ebalon: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.
Mizuki: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?
Friday, entering the room: Hello, I'm the crisis counselor.
Mizuki: Ah, beans.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Wow, I need some serotonin.
Mizuki, stands up:
Mizuki: ...
Mizuki, sits back down:
Mizuki: I forgot what that was for a second...
Mizuki: I was going to get you some.
Clarke, eyes welling with tears: The serotonin has arrived-

☆☆☆

Mizuki: [eating a cinnamon roll]
Ebalon/Clarke: Cannibalism.
Mizuki: [confused chewing noises]

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Oh, oops.
Clarke: Pretty sure, accidentally shooting someone, calls for more than an oops.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Mizuki, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Mizuki: i don’t know, i love you, talk to you later.
Ebalon: alright, love you too, i’ll ask La Pluma.
Mizuki:

☆☆☆

Mizuki: does this make me a bad person?
Clarke: Mizuki, there is not a force in this world that could make you a bad person.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: i will now torture you!
Clarke: kinky.
Mizuki: i think you are sweet and beautiful.
Clarke: wait….
Mizuki: you deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others!
Clarke: no.
Mizuki: your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard!
Clarke: [fighting back tears] i need a safeword!

☆☆☆

Mizuki: I hate this group I just asked Ebalon ‘hey why aren’t koalas bears?’ and he hits me with the ‘they’re marsupials’ shut up, nerd. the answer is ‘they don’t have the koalafications.’

☆☆☆

Venti: Ebalon! wake up!
Ebalon: i’m not sleeping, i’m dead. leave flowers and get out.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: i truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Venti: weight loss? drink water.
Clarke: clear skin? drink water.
Ebalon: want to get rid of someone? drown them.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: you’re a goldfish cracker.
Ebalon: explain.
Mizuki: a snack that smiles back.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: what’s the signal when something goes wrong?
Clarke: we yell, ‘oh shit.’

☆☆☆

Ebalon: i’m in a good place right now.
Ebalon: not emotionally. just hanging out with Mizuki.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: feel my shirt. it’s boyfriend material
Clarke: it looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain.
Mizuki: you're right, but did you have to say it like that

☆☆☆

Ebalon: no more making fun of me when i misuse dated cultural references, alright? are we cowabunga on this?
Mizuki: [sighing] fine, we’re cowabunga.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: i like my coffee how i like my women.
Anyone: you only drink tea.
Ebalon: [looks directly into the camera]

☆☆☆

Mizuki: don’t worry, everything will be fine.
Clarke: how can you say that?!
Mizuki: because sometimes when things get tough, denial is all we have.

☆☆☆

Clarke: who wants to make 100 dollars?
Venti: how?
Clarke: i need someone to take the fall.
Venti: what did you do?
Clarke: i can’t tell you. yes or no, no questions asked.
Mizuki: [from the other room] oh my god!
Clarke: ……
Mizuki: [shrieking] OH MY GOD!
Venti: make it 200 dollars.
Clarke: deal.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: wow, great work on the halloween decorations. where did you get the fake skeletons?
Ebalon: fake?

☆☆☆

Mizuki: do you have a lover?
Venti: my love life is a mess.
Mizuki: i’m a mess, can i be your love life?
Venti: 🥺

☆☆☆

Mizuki: caffeine no longer keeps me awake while i work, so instead i have Ebalon periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’
Mizuki: it gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear i need to keep going.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: there’s 2000 extra dollars in my account.
Clarke: oh, congratulations?
Mizuki: i have to go to the bank and set it right.
Clarke: what are you talking about? keep it!
Mizuki: it’s not mine. i didn’t earn it. if i kept it, it would be like stealing.
Clarke: yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: clowns are the pegs on which the circus is hung.
La Pluma: pegging clowns?
Venti: pegging hung clowns?
Clarke: this is why the Captain never talks to us.

☆☆☆

Clarke, Venti & Mizuki: [screaming]
Ebalon: [rushes into the room] What's wrong, Clarke?!
Mizuki: wait, why are you asking Clarke that, when Venti and I are also here?
Ebalon: because Clarke won’t scream unless it’s an emergency, but you two scream whenever you have the chance.

☆☆☆

Jinx: i’ve invited you here because i crave a deadly game….
Mizuki: knife monopoly.
Jinx:
Jinx: i was actually going to have you play Russian roulette, but now i’m really interested in whatever knife monopoly is.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: do you want some tea?
Ebalon: what are the options.
Mizuki: yes or no.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Ebalon, in your educated opinion, how will i die?
Ebalon: murdered by an angry god.
Clarke: that’s a shame.
Mizuki: what about me?
Ebalon: you crave toast while taking a bath.
Mizuki: i do love bath snacks.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: You're smiling, did something good happen?
Ebalon: I can't smile just because I feel like it?
Clarke: Venti tripped and fell in the parking lot.

☆☆☆

Venti: nice rock.
Mizuki: thanks, Jinx gave it to me.
Jinx: i threw it at you!
Mizuki: isn’t she the sweetest?

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Did Ebalon just tell me he loved me for the first time?
La Pluma: Yeah.
Mizuki: And did I do finger guns back?
La Pluma: Yeah, you did.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Am I in trouble?
Clarke: Take a guess.
Mizuki: No?
Clarke: Take another guess.

☆☆☆

Clarke: i’m leaving. Natsuno is in charge. i’ve left notes for each of you with instructions.
Ebalon: mine just says ‘Ebalon, no.’
Clarke: and you can apply that to any situation.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Your existence is confusing.
Mizuki: how so?
Ebalon: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

☆☆☆

Clarke: The next time i open up to someone, it’ll be my autopsy.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: La Pluma and i were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Ebalon: what did you do?
Mizuki: she chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
La Pluma: [walking in] who wants a steering wheel?

☆☆☆

Venti: How's the sexiest person here~?
Mizuki: I don't know, how are they~?
Venti, flustered: I-
Ebalon, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

☆☆☆

Mizuki: everything will be ok. you can not stop it.
Mizuki: everything will be fine. you have no choice.
Clarke: what the fuck kinda pep talk is that?
Mizuki: ominous positivity.

☆☆☆

Venti: [texting] hey can you pick me up i’m drunk.
Venti: oh you don’t have to anymore. i’m home now.
Mizuki: yes i’m aware of that after dropping you off at your room.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Henir, give me patience.
Venti: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Ebalon: If he gave me strength, you'd be dead.

☆☆☆

Venti: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Mizuki: Venti, that's a coma.
Venti: Sounds festive.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Venti: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

☆☆☆

Clarke, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Mizuki: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Clarke, with the tone of someone who is used to Mizuki: Outstanding.
Clarke: This is what I’m talking about people.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Can you keep a secret?
Ebalon: Do you know anything about my life?
Clarke: No I do not. Good point.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Things have actually been going really well with my new friends. Our friendship is in a really good place.
Mizuki: Last week I said, “Did you know the wiener dog is neither a wiener nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Mizuki,” they said, “Okay.”

☆☆☆

Ebalon: I like your name
Mizuki: Thanks, I got it for my birthday

☆☆☆

Venti, to Mizuki: I dare you to—
Ebalon: Mizuki isn’t allowed to accept dares.
Mizuki: Apparently I have ”no regard for my personal safety”

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
Clarke: Please never become a surgeon

☆☆☆

Mizuki: [kicks “G” off Graveyard sign] Let’s get this party started

☆☆☆

Venti: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!
Mizuki: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies

☆☆☆

Mizuki: time sensitive question how flirt boy
Clarke: Throw rocks at he
Venti: Hot dog
Ebalon: Kill him
Mizuki: thanks guys

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Yuuki, before you say anything let me guess what happened based on your face. Someone died. No, you won a prize! ...I'm not getting any better at this.

☆☆☆

Mizuki, to the Captain: No, YOU live in a society!
Mizuki: I live in an Animal Crossing village and I'm thirty thousand dollars in debt to a fucking raccoon.

☆☆☆

La Pluma: Where are you going?
Ebalon: To go get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide on the way.

☆☆☆

La Pluma: When crows remember those who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool," but when I do it, I'm "petty" and I "need to move on." What kind of double standard—

☆☆☆

Venti: Tell me your wildest fantasy.
Mizuki: I’m on Wheel of Fortune and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.
Venti: I meant like—
Mizuki: Everyone claps.

☆☆☆

Ebalon, posting a picture: We look like a couple here.
Mizuki: A couple of besties.

☆☆☆

Lumine: I swing both ways.
Lumine: Violently.
Lumine: With a sword.
Lumine: Come get some, motherfuckers.

☆☆☆

Clarke: [talking to Natsuno on the phone]
Mizuki: Is that Yuuki? Does he need anything? Support? Hugs? Some light friendly nuzzling?

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Romeo and Juliet is a love story, right?
Ebalon: Romeo and Juliet is NOT a love story. It is a tragedy about how young love is stupid and short-sighted.
Venti: Romeo and Juliet is indeed a tragedy, but the love between the two stars is not stupid or short-sighted. It is genuine and beautiful. The tragedy comes from the fact that the rivalry between the Capulets and the Montagues destabilizes their community and kills two innocent kids who loved each other.
La Pluma: Mercutio is gay.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Ebalon says "I love you" weirdly.
Venti: How so?
Mizuki: Watch this.
Mizuki: Ebalon, I love you!
Ebalon: I'd kill for you.

☆☆☆

Venti: It’s illegal to be cuter than me.
Ebalon: We’re all going to jail then.

☆☆☆

Lumine: We call that a traumatic event.
Lumine, turning to Venti: Not a "bruh moment."
Lumine, turning to Mizuki: Not a "major L."
Lumine, turning to Jinx: And definitely not an "OOF lmao."

☆☆☆

Mizuki, slamming a package onto the kitchen counter: I got the steak from the freezer.
Clarke: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Mizuki: It was under a chocolate pie.
Clarke: So you ate your way through it?
Mizuki: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.

☆☆☆

The Captain: You flirt and kiss and for what? Love? Pathetic.
Mizuki: To level up my charisma stat.
The Captain: Ah, a gamer. You may pass.

☆☆☆

[bank drive-thru window]
Jinx, in an Italian accent: I'd a like-a to make-a the deposit.
Bank teller: HEY BUDDY I REMEMBER YOU.
Jinx: [frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube]
Bank teller: GODDAMNIT IT'S HER AGAIN!

☆☆☆

[teaching Ebalon how to use his phone]
Mizuki: Okay, first of all, go to the App Store.
Ebalon: [gets up]
Mizuki: Wait, where are you going?
Ebalon: You said go to the App Store. Is it far?

☆☆☆

Clarke: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Ebalon do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

☆☆☆

Venti: I have a bad feeling about this.
Mizuki: What do you mean?
Venti: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?
Mizuki: No.
Venti: That actually explains so much.

☆☆☆

Venti: You have a crush on Ebalon.
Mizuki: I don't have a crush on him. He's just someone I stare at and like and when he's not here, it ruins my day.

☆☆☆

Clarke: I'm joining the war on vampirism on the side of the vampirism.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: This was almost a great idea.
Clarke: You just described ninety percent of our stuff.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Why is your back all scratched up?
Venti: [flashes back to him chasing a raccoon after Mizuki told him to leave it alone]
Venti: I'm having an affair.

☆☆☆

Venti: I did a bad thing.
Ebalon: Does it affect me?
Venti: No.
Ebalon: Then suffer in silence.

☆☆☆

[at the movies]
Ebalon: How do you want your popcorn, sweet or salty?
Mizuki, making heart eyes at Venti: I want them like him.
Ebalon: They don't make ugly popcorn.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?
Mizuki: It's kind of complicated, but Ebalon—
Clarke: Got it. Forget I asked.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Go fuck yourself.
La Pluma: Fuck me yourself, you coward.

☆☆☆

Venti: What should I eat for lunch?
Ebalon and La Pluma: Poison.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: Hey, Ebalon! Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. Which organ would you like for Valentine's Day?
Clarke: Gross, Mizuki, that's completely inappropriate—
Ebalon: I have always wanted to dissect a liver. Would that be feasible?
Clarke:
Mizuki: I think he's my soulmate.

☆☆☆

Venti: Can I ask a dumb question?
Ebalon: Better than anybody I know.

☆☆☆

Jinx: Get in there and bust up his date. Show him you care. Ruin his night.
Venti: You really have a unique take on love.

☆☆☆

Ebalon, looking at Venti: Can I shoot him?
La Pluma: Not in public.

☆☆☆

Venti: With all due respect, Mizuki, Ebalon has no feelings.
Clarke: He once said the best comedy of all time was "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

☆☆☆

Venti: When you said you’d do magic in bed, this wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.
Mizuki, holding up the eight of hearts: Is this your card?
Venti: Holy shit.

☆☆☆

Mizuki: So, I heard you like bad boys.
Venti: Not really.
Mizuki: Oh thank God.

☆☆☆

Clarke, when Mizuki is snuggling her: I have never met you in my life. You bastard. You fiend. Stop this at once.
Clarke, when Mizuki is busy and can't be with her right that second: Where are my kisses from Mizuki? Where is my snuggles and cuddles that I crave so dearly? You are cruel and unjust, Mizuki, and I am going to scream.

☆☆☆

Ebalon: Get out of my chair.
Venti: Maybe you could reconsider how you’re asking.
Ebalon:
Ebalon: Get the fuck out of my chair.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Rule number one: do not go off on your own.
Clarke: Rule number two: if you do go off on your own, do not go in the woods.
Clarke: Rule number three: if you do go into the woods, never, ever, EVER make out in the woods, or you will DIE in the woods...
Natsuno:
Clarke: Where are Mizuki and Venti?
Natsuno: Breaking rules one, two, and three.

☆☆☆

Clarke: Ah, Mizuki did the dishes.
Venti: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Clarke: Because once when all the knives were dirty you cut a bagel with your keys.

☆☆☆