[ Mizuki, who's been hiveminded with Add for a little bit now, and who has been waiting for this for like a month, is more than certain that it's Science Emotion and not Love Emotion, probably. He doesn't even bat a lash at that. Instead, he seems more concerned with Elsword sitting up. Also the glass? It's like sub-zero temps outside, Add—
Cold? The bed's warm. I'll grab bandages for Elsword.
And maybe it's also an excuse to get out of here, but he'll worm himself away to go get some disinfectant and such for Elsword's bite wound. ]
[Anger gives way to fluster, as much as he tries not to let it show... but really, it's not about Mizuki. It's about how little Elsword seems to care about kissing whoever he pleases. What does that make Add? If he's not special, if it really is just how Elsword treats everyone... what's he supposed to feel, if Elsword could live without him? If he could one day move on?
His eye flicks over to Mizuki... and he hisses out a sigh, folding his arms tightly to his chest. Dynamo hums loudly to combat the blowing cold.
I'll fix it, followed by a mental map of exactly which corner of which drawer he keeps the first aid supplies. Traces of something bitter leak through, emotions he can't quite strip away. Not completely.]
... Is it because I'm too busy? You don't see me enough? If it's too difficult to come to the lab—if you said something before I could've made different plans, but I can still make adjustments. Am I not doing something correctly? Just tell me what it is, and I'll fix it.
[he's not good enough, that must be why Elsword sought out affection from Mizuki... but he can still fix it. he can be better.]
Add, I'm not... a needy person. I'm pretty sure, anyway. [Usually you can just set Elsword down and let him be around people, and that's good enough for him. He's like a chinchilla.] If you're busy, you're busy, but that doesn't mean I love you less. I bring you food and try to drag you home when you and Mr. Gnosis are sleeping on the desks in the lab...
[Chinhands, with his... uh... good hand...? "Good"?]
...I wouldn't do that if I didn't care.
[...]
I'm not trying to... betray you or anything like that. Add— you're good enough for me. You don't have to change or do anything differently. Keep doing what you're doing, it's my fault for being impulsive. I thought you'd be okay with...
[ Well, at the very least Mizuki is very swift in gathering what he needs to get back to Elsword. He… feels a little bad. He shouldn't be running from this and letting them deal with it. He knows what they're like, after all. Mizuki is just emotionally drained from the meeting, so it's really hard for him to pile this on, too, but…
He really loves Elsword. He knows that now. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't have similar feelings for Add. He'll swallow those swiftly in favor of "casually" feeding his thoughts into mindlink. Specifically that of when he got a little ahead of himself. He'd mentioned being able to take away that pain and simply have Elsword become One with him. How that could make it so Elsword could feel things easier like that. Admittedly, at the time, he was absolutely thinking about the Seaborn, but… is becoming One not also this link he has with Add?
A thought, then, if Elsword said yes to that — and he did — would he not be willing to hear Add out for that idea?
…Just some food for thought~.
He comes back with the first aid materials and brings them over to Add before the two of them start arguing because of something he did for a second time… ]
[You're good enough for me, he says, but Add can't be satisfied with such a simple answer. Humans are no different from machines, programming and circuits replaced with chemicals and flesh—everything can be calculated, predicted, cause and effect, why would impulses be any different? Craving a food because your body can sense its deficiencies, is that not the same as seeking out affection? Is it something he misunderstood? Is it because he never officially agreed that they were dating?
Everything tangles in his chest, trying to grasp what words to say, how to make Elsword do what he wants... but he's also multitasking, and suddenly that secondary task is a lot more important he agreed to what now
There is an intensity behind Add's gaze, staring down Elsword like he just said something completely insane (he did, kind of). Dynamo draws in around him, crackling sparks. It's... less threatening, somehow. More defensive. Nervous.
... Elsword didn't know what he was saying yes to, though, and that's so like him to agree blindly without understanding the situation, but... another moment comes to mind, I wish you could feel how I felt about you.
there is a feeling of hhrrrhghgh in the depths of the hivemind]
Let me see your shoulder. [briskly clearing the gap from the bed to the window, don't change the subject? sorry, that was only for Elsword, Add is allowed to change the subject, he's going to heal this first. Mizuki pass him the fucking bandages]
[Elsword about to say something like "I'm sorry" and then Add flips the topic and he just... he has learnt by now to shut his fucking mouth before he wrecks shit, so yeah, here's his shoulder. The bite has gone through the fabric of his shirt, and he's no longer bleeding, but it obviously hasn't scabbed over. One sharp movement is going to make it bleed all over again.
There is also blood on his lips from where he was licking it out of Mizuki's mouth like a fucking freak, don't... don't worry about that, okay.]
It's not that bad. It's like the last time I got bitten.
[Man who gets bitten on the daily by his freak-ass friend group: it's fine they're not actually rabid]
[ The bandages are absolutely handed over, but there is an incredibly long stare at Add after the fact. He expected excitement or… something positive that wasn't this… conflicted?? He supposes he was also conflicted when Elsword said yes, but that was because, you know, Elsword was saying stuff about why he cared about Mizuki and stuff??
Please, he just wants to fix this. He doesn't want them to fight. He's sorry, truly. Tonight was just… hard on him, emotionally. People finding out that he's a monsterfreak Seaborn meant that there was a lot of self-deprecating stuff running through his head. Nothing he believes, of course, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, briefly. A lapse in judgement. It felt nice to be wanted. To be loved. He wants to kiss Elsword again and hold his hands, but if Add doesn't want that, he won't.
But what he won't let slide by is this. Being One with both his heroes???? Absolutely not. So after Add has the bandages, Mizuki looks directly at Elsword, and very bluntly tells him what he was hoping Add would: ]
If you could have us both be in your head, and you got to feel all the stuff we feel without it just being the bad, you would want that, wouldn't you?
[he was so close to ignoring his problems and complaining about Elsword's weird bitewound magnetism instead and then Mizuki says That
Add sputters like an old motor. There are alarms blaring in his mind, and over the mindlink there is a resounding WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT? This is NOT part of the plan! This isn't part of any plan!! What the fuck!! He wasn't ready for this!!!
In his panic he spills half the bottle of disinfectant onto Elsword's wound. It is for sure disinfected now, at least.]
[The disinfectant gets dunked on him and Elsword hisses out in pain, brief, before his eye settles back on Mizuki. Then they look to Add, then to Mizuki again, and he nods once.]
Yeah. Then I could keep tabs on you guys when you go into the woods next. [Normal behaviour.] And then Add can know that I think he's perfect the way he is, and Mizuki can know I don't think he's a monster like Irene does. So yeah.
I want to feel the stuff that makes you guys happy, too.
[He has half an idea what he's agreeing to here, but it caught Add off-guard... has Mizuki already offered for Add to join We Many, maybe? That would make sense, since hiveminds are supposed to add more... minds... to the hive. Or something like that.]
[ There's a brief moment where Mizuki moves forward to ? help Elsword? in some capacity after the disinfectant is spilled, but he knows there's not much to be done on the matter now. Sorry. He should've waited until Add was done with the painful part…
You are, unfortunately, not the first person to intensely yell in Mizuki's mind, Add. Though, admittedly, the fact that this is yelling and not eldritch shrieking means he's at least a little more sympathetic. But also? He adores you, Add, and has a disgusting amount of loyalty towards you, yet right now even he thinks you're being far too anxious.
Please listen to Elsword. It's important to hear about his wants, too. That's kind of the whole point of being in a relationship. ]
So you would want that? To be with us, to have our thoughts with yours, our emotions together, a oneness and complete integration with one another?
[Elsword please understand what you're asking for challenge.]
As much as it sucked to feel only people's bad emotions that one month, [whatever month that was, it was one of them, Elsword has lost track,] I was... okay with it, in a weird way. It let me know you were safe, and I was able to find Mizuki when he was injured. Stuff like that.
[It goes back to Elsword's need to Constantly protect other people, even if it'll be actively detrimental to his wellbeing. How is he supposed to jump in front of a bullet if he can't find y'all? Checkmate, atheists.]
It's not that simple. Do you ever think before speaking?
[He'd fallen quiet, between the shock and the disbelief, but he regains his composure enough to interject. Is this exchange, is Elsword's consent supposed to make him happy? Can it be that easy? All he had to do was ask?
Of course not. He sighs, exasperated, and roughly pulls down Elsword's shirt to access the shoulder. This is faster (and less distracting) than making his strip. He is going to treat this bitewound, thanks...]
Ignoring the risks that come with invasive surgery, complications and rejection by the body, having to adapt to a new method of communication that may be uncomfortable or difficult to use... modifications of this nature are permanent, I would hope you'd ask more questions before impulsively agreeing to something you don't understand. There won't be any "changing your mind" later.
[There's more. He knows there's more, but he still hesitates, staring down as he wraps the wound... he's thought about this one. There are a few different approaches he can take, he doesn't have to say anything at all, but is it better if he can explain it away with a good excuse? That leaves less risk in the long term, right? He doesn't have to lie about it. He can be more honest about why it has to stay a secret... he may even be able to test it openly. But there's always a risk. If Elsword gets suspicious, disagrees, blurts it out to someone by mistake...
he shouldn't say it at all. it could be his trump card. something no one could expect, not even the Forest.
... ah, the Forest can hear through him, can't it? maybe... it would even think of this as a mistake. allowing Elsword into their minds, and it by extension...]
[His hand wanders, abandoning the carefully-wound bandages to trace up Elsword's neck, over the black vines, stopping as his fingertips cradle the edges of the petals blooming from his empty socket... a beautiful, disgusting parasite. Is it listening now? Watching? Oblivious to their plans? Does it think it still has the upper hand?
Slowly, his mouth widens to a crooked smile, worries giving way to sharp focus.
A surprise. Yes, this can be the surprise. A gift of total control, wrested away from something vile and unworthy...]
... electromagnetic frequency is bad for plants. I wonder... will it wilt if I make you mine?
[ You know, in hindsight, Mizuki should have worded this differently. He knows Add pretty well at this point. Maybe not entirely, as he's been way too busy for another therapy session with Mizuki for… understandable reasons, but enough to know that wording things in a way such that it's Add's idea, or convincing him to bring it up with prodding would've been the way to handle it. Mizuki's lucky he got there on his own, but he needs to be way less selfish. This should be Add's decision. No matter how much Mizuki desperately needscraveshungers for wants Elsword in his head as well. Something just sort of took hold of him in that moment. Maybe it was just the fact he didn't want Add upset, or maybe this was just a convenient way to get Mizuki's wants out of the way, or maybe the emotional peaks and drops tonight have all just left Mizuki with the emotional comprehension equivalence of static snow.
Or maybe he really is a monster? Who's to say for sure.
Whatever the reason is doesn't matter now, though. It's fixed itself! Clearly Add being a weird little freak is actually a positive thing to Mizuki, who is also a known weird little freak, so this is all good! He's not sure if he should excuse himself now, though? It's getting really cold, even if the storm is letting up a bit. He could be doing anything that would be more productive than just sitting there, but he doesn't… want to. He wants to get back under the covers and cuddle with Elsword. He wants to keep watching his heroes be the perfect couple (sources: Mizuki). He wants Add to tell him "You're mine, too" and everything to just magically work out for once tonight.
What he needs is to just sleep. He's so emotionally exhausted he can't even find it in him to be excited about the thing he wants most in the world. Or, well, that's not entirely true. There's still some emotional bubbling inside. He's… jealous, he thinks. Or guilty? Maybe it's just residual panic from the meeting. All of the above? There's just a weird gross cocktail of Yuck that sits in his stomach, and maybe he's just waiting for that to die down.
…There's a brief apology to Dynamo. They're dealing with his anxiety, right? He's okay! Things have just been a whole lot tonight. He can put on a smile now, though. Things will settle and everything is going to be alright. Just as always! He just needs to stop being such a negative Nancy.
And with that, he'll scoot himself out of the bed to go look for something to patch the window. It is getting incredibly cold in here, after all. ]
[Luckily for Mizuki, he should be able to find something to patch the window up with. Otherwise they can Move Bedrooms and cuddle up over there.
Elsword has not yet made this suggestion, because he's too busy having a fucking Moment over Add, thanks. Somewhere in the back of his throat is a "No, I don't think before speaking, we've gone over this", because Add so often throws that into his face and at this point Elsword isn't sure how to drive that home. "I already have God and the Forest arguing in my head, what's another thing", he wants to say. "Didn't you say you were going to help cure everything wrong with me?" he's about to ask in a tone that might be sassy if he weren't so unemotional all the time.
Nope, no, Add goes for the fucking kill of will it make you mine, the one thing that gets Elsword's monkey-brain revving its engines. He freezes at the touch, noting with some amount of discomfort that the flower petals have sensation when something like this absolutely shouldn't, but... woof. Okay. Be normal, buddy, you can do this.]
Y... yeah? [failed step one] I hope so. I'd rather have you in my head than two supernatural entities arguing all the time.
[lol lmao]
If you could shut them up... if you could fix me, I'd owe you more than just a couple kisses.
["if you cure me i'll give you head" said boy who was already going to be doing that]
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mooninthewater) wrote2023-08-16 12:10 pm
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Cold? The bed's warm. I'll grab bandages for Elsword.
And maybe it's also an excuse to get out of here, but he'll worm himself away to go get some disinfectant and such for Elsword's bite wound. ]
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[Anger gives way to fluster, as much as he tries not to let it show... but really, it's not about Mizuki. It's about how little Elsword seems to care about kissing whoever he pleases. What does that make Add? If he's not special, if it really is just how Elsword treats everyone... what's he supposed to feel, if Elsword could live without him? If he could one day move on?
His eye flicks over to Mizuki... and he hisses out a sigh, folding his arms tightly to his chest. Dynamo hums loudly to combat the blowing cold.
I'll fix it, followed by a mental map of exactly which corner of which drawer he keeps the first aid supplies. Traces of something bitter leak through, emotions he can't quite strip away. Not completely.]
... Is it because I'm too busy? You don't see me enough? If it's too difficult to come to the lab—if you said something before I could've made different plans, but I can still make adjustments. Am I not doing something correctly? Just tell me what it is, and I'll fix it.
[he's not good enough, that must be why Elsword sought out affection from Mizuki... but he can still fix it. he can be better.]
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Add, I'm not... a needy person. I'm pretty sure, anyway. [Usually you can just set Elsword down and let him be around people, and that's good enough for him. He's like a chinchilla.] If you're busy, you're busy, but that doesn't mean I love you less. I bring you food and try to drag you home when you and Mr. Gnosis are sleeping on the desks in the lab...
[Chinhands, with his... uh... good hand...? "Good"?]
...I wouldn't do that if I didn't care.
[...]
I'm not trying to... betray you or anything like that. Add— you're good enough for me. You don't have to change or do anything differently. Keep doing what you're doing, it's my fault for being impulsive. I thought you'd be okay with...
[Gestures in a circle with his hand. You know.]
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He really loves Elsword. He knows that now. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't have similar feelings for Add. He'll swallow those swiftly in favor of "casually" feeding his thoughts into mindlink. Specifically that of when he got a little ahead of himself. He'd mentioned being able to take away that pain and simply have Elsword become One with him. How that could make it so Elsword could feel things easier like that. Admittedly, at the time, he was absolutely thinking about the Seaborn, but… is becoming One not also this link he has with Add?
A thought, then, if Elsword said yes to that — and he did — would he not be willing to hear Add out for that idea?
…Just some food for thought~.
He comes back with the first aid materials and brings them over to Add before the two of them start arguing because of something he did for a second time… ]
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Everything tangles in his chest, trying to grasp what words to say, how to make Elsword do what he wants... but he's also multitasking, and suddenly that secondary task is a lot more important he agreed to what now
There is an intensity behind Add's gaze, staring down Elsword like he just said something completely insane (he did, kind of). Dynamo draws in around him, crackling sparks. It's... less threatening, somehow. More defensive. Nervous.
... Elsword didn't know what he was saying yes to, though, and that's so like him to agree blindly without understanding the situation, but... another moment comes to mind, I wish you could feel how I felt about you.
there is a feeling of hhrrrhghgh in the depths of the hivemind]
Let me see your shoulder. [briskly clearing the gap from the bed to the window, don't change the subject? sorry, that was only for Elsword, Add is allowed to change the subject, he's going to heal this first. Mizuki pass him the fucking bandages]
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There is also blood on his lips from where he was licking it out of Mizuki's mouth like a fucking freak, don't... don't worry about that, okay.]
It's not that bad. It's like the last time I got bitten.
[Man who gets bitten on the daily by his freak-ass friend group: it's fine they're not actually rabid]
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Please, he just wants to fix this. He doesn't want them to fight. He's sorry, truly. Tonight was just… hard on him, emotionally. People finding out that he's a
monsterfreakSeaborn meant that there was a lot of self-deprecating stuff running through his head. Nothing he believes, of course, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, briefly. A lapse in judgement. It felt nice to be wanted. To be loved. He wants to kiss Elsword again and hold his hands, but if Add doesn't want that, he won't.But what he won't let slide by is this. Being One with both his heroes???? Absolutely not. So after Add has the bandages, Mizuki looks directly at Elsword, and very bluntly tells him what he was hoping Add would: ]
If you could have us both be in your head, and you got to feel all the stuff we feel without it just being the bad, you would want that, wouldn't you?
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Add sputters like an old motor. There are alarms blaring in his mind, and over the mindlink there is a resounding WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT? This is NOT part of the plan! This isn't part of any plan!! What the fuck!! He wasn't ready for this!!!
In his panic he spills half the bottle of disinfectant onto Elsword's wound. It is for sure disinfected now, at least.]
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Yeah. Then I could keep tabs on you guys when you go into the woods next. [Normal behaviour.] And then Add can know that I think he's perfect the way he is, and Mizuki can know I don't think he's a monster like Irene does. So yeah.
I want to feel the stuff that makes you guys happy, too.
[He has half an idea what he's agreeing to here, but it caught Add off-guard... has Mizuki already offered for Add to join We Many, maybe? That would make sense, since hiveminds are supposed to add more... minds... to the hive. Or something like that.]
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You are, unfortunately, not the first person to intensely yell in Mizuki's mind, Add. Though, admittedly, the fact that this is yelling and not eldritch shrieking means he's at least a little more sympathetic. But also? He adores you, Add, and has a disgusting amount of loyalty towards you, yet right now even he thinks you're being far too anxious.
Please listen to Elsword. It's important to hear about his wants, too. That's kind of the whole point of being in a relationship. ]
So you would want that? To be with us, to have our thoughts with yours, our emotions together, a oneness and complete integration with one another?
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[Elsword please understand what you're asking for challenge.]
As much as it sucked to feel only people's bad emotions that one month, [whatever month that was, it was one of them, Elsword has lost track,] I was... okay with it, in a weird way. It let me know you were safe, and I was able to find Mizuki when he was injured. Stuff like that.
[It goes back to Elsword's need to Constantly protect other people, even if it'll be actively detrimental to his wellbeing. How is he supposed to jump in front of a bullet if he can't find y'all? Checkmate, atheists.]
1/2
[He'd fallen quiet, between the shock and the disbelief, but he regains his composure enough to interject. Is this exchange, is Elsword's consent supposed to make him happy? Can it be that easy? All he had to do was ask?
Of course not. He sighs, exasperated, and roughly pulls down Elsword's shirt to access the shoulder. This is faster
(and less distracting)than making his strip. He is going to treat this bitewound, thanks...]Ignoring the risks that come with invasive surgery, complications and rejection by the body, having to adapt to a new method of communication that may be uncomfortable or difficult to use... modifications of this nature are permanent, I would hope you'd ask more questions before impulsively agreeing to something you don't understand. There won't be any "changing your mind" later.
[There's more. He knows there's more, but he still hesitates, staring down as he wraps the wound... he's thought about this one. There are a few different approaches he can take, he doesn't have to say anything at all, but is it better if he can explain it away with a good excuse? That leaves less risk in the long term, right? He doesn't have to lie about it. He can be more honest about why it has to stay a secret... he may even be able to test it openly. But there's always a risk. If Elsword gets suspicious, disagrees, blurts it out to someone by mistake...
he shouldn't say it at all. it could be his trump card. something no one could expect, not even the Forest.
... ah, the Forest can hear through him, can't it? maybe... it would even think of this as a mistake. allowing Elsword into their minds, and it by extension...]
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Slowly, his mouth widens to a crooked smile, worries giving way to sharp focus.
A surprise. Yes, this can be the surprise. A gift of total control, wrested away from something vile and unworthy...]
... electromagnetic frequency is bad for plants. I wonder... will it wilt if I make you mine?
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needscraveshungers forwants Elsword in his head as well. Something just sort of took hold of him in that moment. Maybe it was just the fact he didn't want Add upset, or maybe this was just a convenient way to get Mizuki's wants out of the way, or maybe the emotional peaks and drops tonight have all just left Mizuki with the emotional comprehension equivalence of static snow.Or maybe he really is a monster? Who's to say for sure.
Whatever the reason is doesn't matter now, though. It's fixed itself! Clearly Add being a weird little freak is actually a positive thing to Mizuki, who is also a known weird little freak, so this is all good! He's not sure if he should excuse himself now, though? It's getting really cold, even if the storm is letting up a bit. He could be doing anything that would be more productive than just sitting there, but he doesn't… want to. He wants to get back under the covers and cuddle with Elsword. He wants to keep watching his heroes be the perfect couple (sources: Mizuki). He wants Add to tell him "You're mine, too" and everything to just magically work out for once tonight.
What he needs is to just sleep. He's so emotionally exhausted he can't even find it in him to be excited about the thing he wants most in the world. Or, well, that's not entirely true. There's still some emotional bubbling inside. He's… jealous, he thinks. Or guilty? Maybe it's just residual panic from the meeting. All of the above? There's just a weird gross cocktail of Yuck that sits in his stomach, and maybe he's just waiting for that to die down.
…There's a brief apology to Dynamo. They're dealing with his anxiety, right? He's okay! Things have just been a whole lot tonight. He can put on a smile now, though. Things will settle and everything is going to be alright. Just as always! He just needs to stop being such a negative Nancy.
And with that, he'll scoot himself out of the bed to go look for something to patch the window. It is getting incredibly cold in here, after all. ]
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Elsword has not yet made this suggestion, because he's too busy having a fucking Moment over Add, thanks. Somewhere in the back of his throat is a "No, I don't think before speaking, we've gone over this", because Add so often throws that into his face and at this point Elsword isn't sure how to drive that home. "I already have God and the Forest arguing in my head, what's another thing", he wants to say. "Didn't you say you were going to help cure everything wrong with me?" he's about to ask in a tone that might be sassy if he weren't so unemotional all the time.
Nope, no, Add goes for the fucking kill of will it make you mine, the one thing that gets Elsword's monkey-brain revving its engines. He freezes at the touch, noting with some amount of discomfort that the flower petals have sensation when something like this absolutely shouldn't, but... woof. Okay. Be normal, buddy, you can do this.]
Y... yeah? [failed step one] I hope so. I'd rather have you in my head than two supernatural entities arguing all the time.
[lol lmao]
If you could shut them up... if you could fix me, I'd owe you more than just a couple kisses.
["if you cure me i'll give you head" said boy who was already going to be doing that]